Based in Maryville, missouri a space for grace is a blog by baylee mather. Her posts encourage & equip women to seek god and find his goodness and grace each and every day.

Emotional Generosity

5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit by Nicki Koziarz is one of my favorite books. Nicki is witty, cute, and fun…with a little sprinkle of sass. There are so many tools I learned in Nicki’s book that I want to share with you, but there is one idea that has changed my heart forever: emotional generosity.

The fourth habit Nicki shares in her book is: She gives others what she needs. This habit is all about giving to others what you need most from them. It is learning to be emotionally generous.

I need grace. Each and every day I fall short. And I know I am not the only one. Knowing this, knowing that I need grace, I must give to others what I need most from them.

Just the other day my load was getting a little too heavy. My class schedule continued to grow. I wanted a life-changing internship I didn’t get. I was overlooked for a special celebration. I found myself questioning if God could really bring my dreams to fruition. Honestly, I wanted to quit everything and move to Hawaii.

But instead, I continued to show up. I shifted my perspective from my problems to giving others the encouragement I know they needed. I saw a friend in need of reassurance, so I sent her a quick text. I found a little encouraging post on social media, so I listened to the stirring in my soul and sent it to a few friends who needed some love. I even smiled and waved at an angry person who almost succeeded in hitting me with their car. In all of these moments, I made the intentional shift in my mind that I would not focus on all that was going wrong. Instead, I poured out exactly what I needed: love, grace, and encouragement.

And then...

I received a sweet email from a very special friend who had written a prayer for me that soothed every. single. spot. in my soul. A little while later, I received a text message of encouragement, motivating me to continue through the detours because I am moving towards my destiny, one step of obedience at a time.

When we give to others what we need, we are free to receive what we need too. Luke 6:38 reads: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

We reap what we sow…always. The good, the bad, and the ugly. God knows our motives, our heart. He sees if we are acting out of selfish ambition or pure obedience. Even in the toughest and darkest moments, emotional generosity is always the answer.

As Nicki explains, it takes time to get into a rhythm with this habit. Our impact may not be immediate. But once we put emotional generosity into practice, we give everything we ever thought we needed away. Little by little, we begin to see how giving to others what we need is sowing seeds of life into this world.

If you sow good seeds and give to others what you need, God will bless you immensely by whatever means He knows your heart is hungry for. Here are three key instructions Nicki shares that you can tuck away for the day emotional generosity seems downright impossible:

1.  Do not withhold good from others.

“When it is in your power, don’t withhold good from the one it belongs to.” (Proverbs 3:27)

2.  Be generous with what we put out to this world.

“Remember this: The person who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the person who sows generously will also reap generously.” (2 Corinthians 9:6)

3.  Giving always wins.

“In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” (Acts 20:35 NASB)

Even when we don’t feel like it, even when we see others signing away on the deals we wish were ours, or stepping into a destiny God must have mistaken as theirs, we must intentionally and open-handedly give emotional generosity. Keep sowing good seeds and invest well. You will reap the harvest God intended you to have if you continue to follow His instructions.


Nicki Koziarz is graciously giving one of my readers a copy of her book 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn't Quit. Enter to win by leaving a comment below! 







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