I am by no means a relationship expert. I have had one serious relationship that turned into a beautiful marriage on 6-11-16. However, that isn't to say there have not been many learning opportunities along the way. Over the course of my journey with Caleb, I have been able to discern the things that breed a lasting, fulfilling relationship. And each key piece can be recorded in the shape of a triangle, the love triangle.
I absolutely hate math (sorry, Memaw!). Numbers with letters and word problems with formulas are all too much for me to handle. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to understand the way it all works together to form one single answer. But I do understand how a triangle can serve as our guide to help us build a healthy, Christ-like relationship.
It is a God-given desire to love and be loved. 1 John 4:19 reads: “We love because He first loved us.” Do you deeply desire to be loved? How have you been shown you are loved? Ponder these questions for a moment.
God displayed His love for us by sending His one and only son, Jesus, to earth in the form of a man to die for our sins. Jesus suffered the same trials and tribulations we do today. He was subject to criticism, talked about constantly, and never really fit in. Many times, Jesus only gained the approval of others based on His perfect, miraculous performances. Amidst all this, Jesus showed the love of God by persevering through these moments and dying on the cross for our sins. Jesus bore the blame and took on every bad thing that was ever said or done so that we may have eternal life. Our deepest desire to be loved was fully fulfilled when Christ died for us. When we unwrap this gift, our souls are satisfied because we can then confidently pursue the right relationships.
Foundation of Friendship
The right relationship begins with a foundation of friendship. This serves as a platform for the future. When we take the time to cultivate a friendship with our guy, we truly know one another. We pave the way for healthy communication because we talk about our faith, family, and friends. We aren’t pressured to prove anything because we are only building a friendship. Naturally, as we continue to get to know one another and share our hopes and dreams, we start to build our love triangle.
The base of the triangle serves as a strong, straight line connecting you and your guy. You should be at one corner of the triangle and your man at the other. This is the foundation in which your relationship will build upon. The stronger the foundation of friendship, the better. You do not have to seek temporary pleasures to satisfy your desire for love. God already fulfilled this desire through His son, Jesus. Instead, we can fix our eyes on Him and trust that through our friendship, God will breed a beautiful relationship.
A Personal Pursuit of the Father
Many times, I have made the mistake of relying on Caleb for my contentment and fulfillment. I have had unrealistic expectations for him and our relationship. Instead of strongly pursuing the One who could meet my every need, I was looking for Caleb to do so.
In these desperate times, what I am missing is a personal pursuit of the Father. My friend, if we are going to enjoy the journey of our relationships, we must intentionally set time aside each day to spend with our ever-present Companion. We must give God the room He needs to work in and through us. In doing so, we allow God to breathe life into our soul and take control of our relationship. He then provides the wisdom and grace we need for each day.
We must also encourage our partner to personally pursue the Father. This is crucial because we need encouragement in our walk of life and our walk with God. I believe it takes three important people to build a lasting, wholesome relationship: you, your guy, and God.
The very tip of the triangle is God’s spot. Naturally, He is in the middle and at the highest point. God serves as the focal point in our relationships. If you and your guy personally pursue the Father, you move up your side of the triangle. You grow closer together as you support one another, do life together, and receive your fulfillment from God. Without your personal pursuit, your relationship cannot grow. It is stagnant. This is why it is so crucial that we personally pursue the Father, fix our eyes on the Focal Point, and strive to love like He does. As we do, our relationships develop the way God intended them to. We receive and reciprocate a Christ-like love.
The triangle should serve as the blueprint for building a lasting, fulfilling relationship. It should be our reminder that we love because God first loved us. Once we let this truth seep deep into our soul, we can then confidently pursue the right relationships. We begin by building a strong foundation of friendship, allowing God to take ahold of our hearts and help us personally pursue Him in all circumstances. He will then fill us up the right way, enabling us to fulfill our role in our relationship with Him and our guy. Temporary pleasures will never give our soul the satisfaction it deserves. Use the Cross and the love triangle as your guide to build a relationship that mirrors God’s love. In doing so, God will ensure you are pursuing the right relationship, the one He intended you to have, in His perfect timing.